Let's talk about your need for holy leisure, interior freedom, poetic education, creative expression and cultural engagement. Authentic, joyful, humorous...many talks to choose from...custom crafted presentations...workshops, retreats, group facilitation...let me help you!
Link to the whole talk on YouTube, here.
The days of your power to act in your own behalf, to cultivate the self, are over. You’re here to be acted upon, to be purified, to be loved. As C.S. Lewis has pointed out, the “weight of glory” is not going to be easy to bear. That’s why he considered purgatory “a hopeful doctrine”.
The particular suffering of purgatory is God working to prepare you for that weight. At this point, you’ll have no doubt about your eternal destiny, no doubt about His perfect love, but also none about how far you fall short of capacity to bear it. Perhaps your Sabbath practice has helped prepare you for the complete powerlessness to effect change – the utter surrender of self into God’s hands – that is Purgatory.
How capable are you of non-action, of allowing yourself to be acted upon, turned, stopped, stomped, kneaded, exposed, wounded? Have you practiced letting go of your own goals, progress, will – your acting upon the world to control, manage, manipulate, change, improve it? How passive can you be to Love in the midst of life’s active dimension? These are all things you can practice on your Eucharistic Sabbath. (During the week, get out there and practice acting in freedom to cultivate yourself and rock the world around you!)
Sabbath-keeping will certainly help with all of the ‘purgatories’ you experience during life on earth – suffering, interference with self-will, humiliation, and the like – and will permeate your active week with the sweetness of surrender and rest. So, I think, this practice will help you through the bittersweet pangs of Purgatory itself.
It’s hard being a boy these days, in a sanitized, feminized environment where it’s so unsafe to run around on your own.
I just finished a list of ideas to help a mom help her boys, and thought it might be helpful for others. For what it’s worth:
A book our boys enjoyed with their dad: Backyard Ballistics…backyard explosive, potato canons and such…a real hit!
The Dangerous Book for Boys – ’nuff said!
Visits to manufacturing places…what’s available near where you are?? We have a marble factory that allows tours, and boys have historically enjoyed shooting marbles
For older boys: helping with Special Olympics…sports even for the relatively non-athletic, and such a beautiful way of serving
Chess – a game of war, strategy, and taking-territory
Martial arts, sports, gymnastics (boys-only teams, if possible)
Camping, hiking, building and playing with fires – time in nature to roam and build and go crazy and get dirty (and, yes, to get hurt) are essential
Orienteering and Geocaching with Dad and pals
Garden work, especially raising family food
Raising earthworms for castings to sell (great for houseplants) and worms to sell fishermen
Fishing, snorkeling, scuba lessons, sailing (especially if reading Swallows and Amazons!)
Shooting sports, indoors or out – target shooting, archery is even more physical
Cooking – top chefs have always been men…creative, service, demanding, skill with knives
Taking apart things – find at garage sales or buy cheapo power tools, alarm clocks, toasters, motors…
Science experiments – just don’t make it ‘school’
Woodworking projects, his own set of tools, maybe a small workbench in garage
Dog training…first, watch The Dog Whisperer videos with Cesar Milan, plus somewhere is a monastery that specializes in training dogs – would be an interesting adjunct, and somewhere hardened prisoners are being brought back to humanity by raising dogs…must research this
Plan an imaginary trip across the country by rail, trail, bike, hike, air, car…map to mark up, write off for tourist info from states, figure out budget, gas mileage, etc..
Non-electric push mower – get to work!
Work: move this pile of woodchips over there using shovel and wheelbarrow; scrub the floor with this brush; whitewash this fence, Tom! (Tom Sawyer can be a difficult read, with the dialect indicated phonetically…might be better as a read aloud…a good one for boys); tape off and help paint an actual room (start with the garage!)
Dissection! All critters and equipment easily available from science supply places…yukky, and so, awesome!
Habitat for Humanity project with Dad
Offer help weeding, harvesting, helping around a working farm/garden
Canoe trip with Dad, or guided rapids tour – water parks just aren’t the same!
Bike riding with Dad along one of the longer rails-to-trails routes, with packed-in food and water, maybe camping along the way
We all loved the K-nex Bridge Building set…great teaching material about various kinds of bridge construction
David Macaulay books, especially The Way Things Work and Building Big (BB great with the bridge building, above)
Rocket stuff…tons of kits and books available – and do watch the movie October Sky, and maybe the movie Apollo 13
Models, model trains if grandpa has a barn or somewhere a space can be dedicated
Paths – laying out pathways with rope, leveling, filling with sand/gravel/paving stones
New flower beds….lay out with rope or garden hose, then dig up, amend, plant…install borders
Get a simple bookcase from IKEA and ask him to follow the instructions and let you know when it’s done….then leave him alone to deal with it…inexpensive, might be handy somewhere
Remember that boys tend to grow ‘in tension,’ I’ve noticed 2 years physical/2 years mental…and when in one phase, the other suffers until they are more fully integrated.
Work on a life timeline together so he can see that you intend to release him into the world, that you fully believe he’ll be able to drive himself around (in 6 years…brace yourself!!!), could perhaps drive a tractor at Grandpa’s even earlier (best possible training for driving), could take a friend all around a town like Lawrence on the bus at 12, needs a class in car repair at about 15, might start his own collection of home repair tools at 13, will need to take the ACT at 16 or 17, might go ahead and take some classes he finds interesting at JCCC at 15 or 16, could sign up for the entire Adobe suite to teach himself for $20 a month if interested at around 14, would cook the family dinner once a week at 14, would take on responsibility for all the mowing at 14 and be able to offer mowing for money in the neighborhood at 15, should be doing his own laundry at 12, might get on a plane by himself for a visit to somebody at 13, could be at the next world youth day in 2020, etc…, etc…, etc… . Boys need to see that mom is excited about their growing up even though it means growing away…otherwise, they may break with mom by being awful and having her kick ‘em out!
Camera – equipment, buttons to push, creative, online gallery – professional photographer hands his kid an expensive digital camera at 5 years old: I took his advice and was so glad!
And, one of my favorites: go to the zoo (best: Omaha) and let him loose with a map, a camera, a watch, and a backpack of food or whatever he might need (and, maybe, a phone that would just be for emergency and practice answering when you call to check in, or calling you at specific times). Let the leash be short at first – see you in an hour right here, and then longer with practice…see you for a picnic lunch in three hours…can’t wait to see your day in photos, stay on main paths …maybe even, here’s some money in case you want to get something at the food place….the zoo is a great place for this!!! Much better contained than a city, or mall. I would feel entirely safe allowing your ten-year-old to do this, and it would be great training in “more freedom comes, the more confident I am you can follow directions and stay within the limits I’ve set”.
The movie It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World; the movie Glory (never understood why it was rated R – violence, yes, not much cussing, no women or sexuality or nudity…less violent that Iron Man and the like…about the first black regiment in the Civil War – one beautiful scene among men just before battle)
Books on my list of favs for 8-12 year old boys (some have sequels, not listed, and many of these authors have other good books):
Arthur Ransome’s Swallows and Amazons series
Smoky, the Cowhorse – Will James
The White Stag – Kate Seredy
Call it Courage – Armstrong Sperry
The Matchlock Gun – Walter Edmonds
Adam of the Road – Elizabeth Gray
Johnny Tremain – Esther Forbes
Twenty-One Balloons – William Pene-dubois
King of the Wind – Marguerite Henry
A Door in the Wall – Marguerite D’Angeli
Amos Fortune, Free Man – Elizabeth Yates
The Wheel on the School – Meindert Dejong
The Story of the Treasure Seekers – Edith Nesbit
Owls in the Family – Farley Mowat
Warrior Scarlett – Rosemary Sutcliff
Snow Treasure – Marie McSwigan
The Yearling – Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
Rifle for Walter – Harold Keith
Carry on Mr. Bowditch – Jean Lee Latham
He Went With Marco Polo – Louise Kent
Little Britches – Ralph Moody
Chronicles of Narnia – C.S. Lewis
Einstein Anderson – Seymour Simon
The Swiss Family Robinson (unabridged, please) Johan Wyss
Encyclopedia Brown – Sobol
Asterix series – Goscinny
Tintin series – Herge
The Black Arrow – Robert Louis Stevenson
The Perilous Road – William Steele
The Wonder Clock – Howard Pyle
The Marvelous Misadventures of Sebastian – Lloyd Alexander
The Indian in the Cupboard – Lynne Reid Banks
The Bronze Bow – Elizabeth Speare
The Sign of the Beaver – Elizabeth Speare
The Boxcar Children – Warner
Everything by Willard Price!
Henry Reed series – Robertson
By Secret Railway – Enid Meadowcroft
On to Oregon – Honore Morrow
The Hoboken Chicken Emergency – Pinkwater
Gentle Ben – Walt Morey
Humbug Mountain – Sid Fleischman
The King’s Fifth – Scott O’Dell
The Hobbit – Tolkein
Twenty and Ten – Claire Hutchet Bishop
The Prince and the Pauper – Mark Twain
Escape from Warsaw – Ian Serralier
Jackaroo – Cynthia Voigt
The Voyage of Dr. Doolittle – Hugh Lofting
A Boy’s War – David Mitchell
Readers: Add your ideas in the comments box!
I love this movie, and only regret that it’s not quite appropriate for young kids. It’s an extended metaphor for coming to grips with life’s terrible daily-ness. The main character – a jaded, worldly bachelor doing the obligatory annual report on the groundhog for his TV station – finds himself inexplicably trapped in one day – living it over and over with, apparently, no way out. As the horror of it dawns on him, he tries suicide. When even that doesn’t effect his escape, he turns to despair’s other alternative, hedonistic abandon. When it seems nothing can ever enter his alternate me-verse to lighten its burden, something does.
The human beings around him – formerly mere objects – begin to awaken him to the possibility of finding himself in the unending day by stepping outside himself for their benefit. As he purposes to fill that day with responsiveness to them, the day becomes more bearable. The one thing that can change from day to day, is the self. He gets to retain experience in memory, learn to play the piano, memorize poetry. Whatever else happens in the cramped limits of that day, he is becoming and cohering in increasing dimensionality outside the reach of the trap that holds him in time.
Love for the station’s beautiful producer awakens his desire not merely to serve, but to know and love another person. To plumb her mystery, to be worthy of her, to love her for her sake and not to manipulate or use her, become the goals that lift his unending day into something that approaches transcendence. Alas, though their time together partakes of eternity, it always ends with the day and is lost to the one who has no memory. Two kinds of ‘newness of life’ are in contrast: a horrible, memory-less, ever-new-ness which traps a person in an endless, impotent, fruitless childhood, and a marvelous freshness which by the power of memory coheres within a person, as person.
Into the now moment of chronos he seems fated to endure, kairos bubbles in through this person, in this person. The actuality of a love from beyond enters time, raises itself up within the very being of a man, and in his willingness to detach from all but love (all expectation of reward, fulfillment, future, pleasure) becomes the power that breaks through an awful magic that sought to unmake that man by tempting him to despair. Self is seen and followed to its destiny in the gaze of an Other. Life is acknowledged to be a gift, however hard it is to bear. Mystery breaks in through personhood to trump a lower and limited reality with its super-reality.
Sounds Catholic to me!